I am an awfully careful person. Never took too many chances. That’s why it came as a surprise to me when it happened, because I didn’t exactly know how to handle a situation like that. It was definitely the flip-flops that caused it. Started off as a perfect day. The sun had smiled down on the courtyard and She said, “Let there be outdoor Choir!” And it wasn’t even Choir really, it was more along the lines of “do-whatever-you-want” day for the class. And I wanted to play catch.
We were having a joyous time of course, jumping up the stone steps, calling for the ball, rejecting the listless classrooms for our outdoor paradise. We decided to organize our efforts and turn it into a game. A competition. Competition equals fun. At least it should, until you get too caught up in it all but that’s beside the point, the main point is I got caught up in it all, and that was my first mistake.
I thought I would stand behind everyone else, and the ball would bounce through their hands and go straight to me. It was a genius plan of course, especially in retrospect. I stared up at the spinning ball, squinting in the light. It was veering off to the right! I quickly changed my footing, both eyes fixed on the relentlessly rotating object that I desired to catch so greatly. All of my weight, flying to the right, leg extended outward and then suddenly a searing pain in my foot and the whole world rotated just like the ball and then I was on the ground in a blur of green and brown.
I slowly got back up to see that nobody had even noticed my fall. They were all still in front of me, playing on as though nothing had happened. I had caught my little toe on a small tree and fallen over. I limped over to the pavement and sat down again to get my bearings. I looked down at my foot and noticed something odd. Do little toes normally bend that way? I wasn’t so sure. I started to tenderly touch the toe and maybe, push it back into place. But then I had second thoughts after the shock of pain flashed up my foot and leg. Not a good plan, I realized, so I walked over to my teacher, mumbled something about needing to go to the office, and promptly limped back inside.
Limped up the stairs, limped to the office, limped to the bed. At this point I felt more than a little light headed, but I decided to get a better look at what was going on. My little toe was bent outward at a 45 degree angle, and it wasn’t moving. The nurse offered to pop it back into place, which made me cringe immediately.
“No, no, I’d rather they do it at the hospital, they can numb it up there I’m sure.”
My Mom arrived soon, and then it was deep breaths for me, all the way to the hospital. I was trying not to look.
1.) He is at school, outside, enjoying the weather playing catch with his friends when suddenly he fell and basically broke his pinky toe.
ReplyDelete2.) Disturbing
3.) "Do little toes normally bend that way?" "Pop it back into place"
4.) My favorite part was when he was talking about his experience in the school's office.
5.) This piece is like a horror movie because it makes me cringe
6.) The details about what happened while he was falling, and what happened right after.
1.) That you got to competitive and into the game, witch lead you to injure your self.
ReplyDelete2.) Traumatizing
3.)Toe and that is was bent outward in a 45 degree angle
4.) The words you used liked joyous and veering
5.) This piece is like a something a comedian would talk about because the way you wrote it sounds like you're laughing at yourself.
6.) I'd focus more on description on what it was like at the hospital, when you get to that of course.
1.) Main Subject: James, Main Theme: He broke his toe playing football
ReplyDelete2.) Toe
3.) "I started to tenderly touch the toe."
4.) When he goes to the hospital
5.) This piece is like a maze because it takes you circles.
6.) Focus more on the image of the toe.
1) The dangers of open toed shoes. God forbid you ever wear flip flops again
ReplyDelete2) Swag
3)Toe bending at 45 degree angle
4)How detailed it is
5) This piece is like pie because its good
6) Just continue going strong like you is
This story is about flip flops. YOLO. My little toe was bent outward at a 45 degree angle. When he dislocates his toe. This piece is like a knife, cause it cut me real deep. Looks pretty good.
ReplyDelete1. Injury while playing ball.
ReplyDelete2.Painful
3.45 degree angle (I know its not one word but still) /"Do little toes normally bend that way?"
4.I really do love how you explained what exactly happened.
5.This piece is like a horror story that would be told at a kids camp because it was told well and made me feel the pain.
6.I really like this over all, very well told. I agree maybe more description about the toe and what it looked like, or maybe describe the pain more. I know that sounds sick and weird but it might make the story even more interesting. :) its very good.
1. He hurt his toe while throwing a ball during school.
ReplyDelete2. painful
3. "bend" "in a blur of green and brown."
4. I like the description during the fall.
5. This piece is like a story your parents would tell you because it seems like the lesson is to be careful.
6. I would like there to be focus on what happened after he left school.